Trauma Survivors Network - provided by ATS

How to cope with TBI spouse with severe frontal/emotional personality changes

Hello,
My husband suffered a TBI in November 2009. His recovery has continued to improve although I think we as far as we are going to get with his recovery. He had frontal injury with personality changes, with severe emotional damage and higher executive thinking and ability to see his behavior. We have been married for 14 almost 15 yrs. I have three young children.
I am really struggling with the new person and these changes. How do I continue to live with someone and not have any emotional support or ability to show emotions. We have been in individual counseling, and marriage counseling and I see myself at a stand still.
I am reaching out to anyone that may have some advice or guidance. I am lost.

Thank you Carra

Reply: How to cope with TBI spouse with severe frontal/emotional personality changes

Hi Carra:

My husband suffered a TBI on April 9 2013, he fell off a ladder between 8-12 feet while on his job. You are a little farther on your journey than we are but I hope I can offer some advice. My husband is the first to acknowledge he is not the same guy that left on April 9th, which is huge for him. He sees a Neuropsychiatrist every other week and she really helps him with his issues. I attend a Wives Support Group – which is a huge help for me and we also attend about 2-3 support groups a month together and we attend as many TBI conferences as we can find. It helps to talk to and make friends/acquaintances with as many TBI survivors and their families as you can. I dont know what area of the country you are in but see if you can find a support group – if he wont go you can go by yourself. Make sure you are seeing the right kind of counselors – they have to have knowledge of TBI. There are many support groups on Facebook as well – there is even a group for us Wives. Is he able to work? My hubs is in a Voc Rehab program now which gets him out of the house and able to be social around other people. I grieve losing my husband that day all the time we are married 27 years this February, we have one daughter 25 and she lives in Portland OR and we are in Cleveland, so it is just him and me. I work full-time and make sure I make time for myself everyweek – whether it is shopping or working out or something – it helps me keep my focus and my sanity. I know you have young children which makes it difficult – but hopefully you have someone that can help you out – it is really important that you take care of yourself. I am all he has so I am in it for the long haul. I hope I helped. Feel free to contact me or reply. :)

Barb

Reply: How to cope with TBI spouse with severe frontal/emotional personality changes

I read what your wrote, Carra, a few times searching it for what you are saying. I am very intrigued by the way wrote that you are not able to show emotions. Could you please elaborate just a little about what that feels like? I feel that I cannot second guess what you intended by that given that I can see many possibilties.

Thanks and Be Well!
Kenney

Reply: How to cope with TBI spouse with severe frontal/emotional personality changes

Don’t give up hope just yet. his recovery may have stalled for now, but he still has a lot of changes yet to go through. I suffered a tbi in 2007, and my wife left me for another man in2010. Now I am almost completely back to normal and she is alone and divorced. I was even able to undo guardianship and get custody of our teenage daughter. So all is not lost yet.