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Scars

#1
Scars
by Hope123 on Jul 26, 2010, 01:18PM

It has been over ten years since my car accident. It has been a very personal journey and has made me who I am today. I try to take from it positives. Most people in my life do not even know I was in such a severe accident. I do not like to share. I am a very private person with that information. So private, that still conceal my worst scars. I was very lucky not to have facial scars. For the first couple of years I wore turtle necks to cover my trac scar and a scar on my shoulder. I wore jeans in the summer to cover the scars on my legs. People tend to make comments to you when your wearing jeans in 100 degree weather. I avoided pool parties etc. Starting relationships with men was difficult. I met my husband 5 years ago, and he has given me the strength to expose several of my not so severe scars like my neck and lower leg the last two years. I wear shorts now, but long ones to still conceal my worst scar on my thigh. When my husband looks at me he says, “What scars?” I love my life, my husband, I am am very fortunate. The thing I can’t stand is people making comments about my finger, or neck, or lower leg scars. I guess I would like to just hide them so nobody knows. They are like" Oh my goodness, how horrible, how did that happen?" all I can think is, if they only knew about the more serious ones. They are scratches compared to the rest of my scars. I over heard people talking about my scars. What I guess I am trying to say is that I would love to talk to someone who has had similar issues with scars especially other women.

#2
Reply: Scars
by LadyK on Dec 16, 2010, 08:30AM

I hate my scars. I can only wear one pair of shoes since my scooter accident. I had a degloving injury on my right foot culminating in the amputation of two toes down to the mid foot. I lost most of the tissue on top of my foot and it is covered by a skin graft. It’s so lumpy and ugly that I always wear socks. I have never been barefoot around my friends. I hate it. I just want to wear cute shoes like all the other 22-year old women get to. :(

#3
Reply: Scars
by delta101308 on Dec 31, 2010, 11:03AM

I am a 22 year old young woman and after reading this I think I need to share about my scars. The accident I was in left me with scars from my chin down and my hair covers what is on my head. I couldn’t tell you what all my scars are but I was knocked out of my shoes which in several places took parts of the top of my feet off as well. It’s been a little over two years since my accident and the scars have started to fade some but my right arm is completely covered from elbow to armpit. People don’t usually ask about the scars or a piece of glass or asphalt on my neck but my arm is something I can’t cover except with long sleeves. Maybe it’s because I live in warm weathered Georgia but for whatever reason I fortunately never felt shy about wearing short sleeves or trying to cover my arm. I notice people staring occasionally and strangers ask me about it sometimes but I’m glad it hasn’t bothered me. I actually started getting positive comments about being okay with my scars. I even knew one girl my age who started to wear shirts even if it showed the edge of her own scar. She told me she had open heart surgery at age five and only wore shirts that covered up her scar up until she met me.

So don’t feel bad if you have scars! If I had tried to cover mine up I would have never met the girl who spent 15 years hiding her own and now has the courage to wear the clothes she wants to without fear. You never know who else you might help to come out of hiding.

I am insecure about one thing though. I swelled up after my accident and when I got back down to size I was left with water pockets in one thigh which makes it lumpy & mis-shapen. I rarely wear shorts and when I do I wrap my leg. I have pretty much completely avoided swimming around people. But this is one thing I’m working on trying to come to terms with. I’m hoping to boost my confidence & forget what others may think. I’ll take this next summer to practice and hopefully I will come out stronger. I hope I was able to help someone by sharing and when summer rolls around and I’m starting to feel insecure I’ll make sure to re-read what I’ve written & remember to walk the walk.

My heart goes out to you ladies and I wish nothing but the best for you two.

#4
Reply: Scars
by harleyhuny on Mar 08, 2011, 12:32AM

I hate replying to posts with old dates cause I wonder if anyone ever reads the new ones. But anyway in response to the orginal poster I too am covered in scars I have 7 on one arm, 5 on one leg, and 4 on the other. I have a graph scar and donor site scar, which I feel are horrible. I dread warm weather coming since my scars are new and I have not been through a summer with them I am dreading it. One thing my boyfriend has told me and I try to keep that at the front of my thoughts is. I should wear them proudly, they are a testement to my suriving a near fatal accident and these are my trophy’s. It helps so I have felt better about my arm scars, but my leg is something I am trying to deal with.

#5
Reply: Scars
by Ashleyweaver3 on Jul 15, 2011, 12:49AM

I completely understand your feelings ladies and would love to share my story. I was involved in a motorcycle accident on a major highway at 80 mph. When we came off the bike, I stayed in one position and literallly “rode the road” with only a pair of jeans and my skin as my protection.

I was 24 years old. I was in close to the best shape of my life. I has just received a promotion in my first “big girl” job. Everyone was telling me my boyfriend was about to propose. I was on top of the world. Then I was on the middle of 97.

I have scars. I have lots of scars; some are worse than others. I had 6 surgeries at Baltimore Shock Trauma and have at least one scar on every part of my body. A major injury was to my upper thigh and lady parts. I have scars in places I can’t even see! A large part of the skin on my hand was removed so now I have a few nasty scars there. I had a colostomy bag for a few months and that left scars that I swore everyone would know what they were.

My first opinion was that it was horrible. I thought I could never wear shorts, never wear a bathing suit and would have to wear makeup for the rest of my life.

But then I was admitted back to the hospital for my second set of surgeries. As I laid there and watched a million and ten episodes of Grey’s Anatomy I saw the episode where one of the doctors get the chicken pox. The other doctor tells her she has to stop itching or she will get scars. The first doctor replies “I don’t care. Scars are badass!” I thought about this for a while.

That night my boyfriend (who was driving the motorcycle) came in to see me like he always did. As soon as he walked in I looked up and said “scars are badass” and he replies “your darn right they are!”

It was one line of a TV show but it really made me think about my scars and what they meant. They didn’t mean that I did something wrong. They didn’t mean I had some horrible contagious disease. They didn’t mean I was any less than I was before I had them.

They mean I, like you 4, was lucky enough to have my guardian angel looking over me that day. I was lucky enough to survive.

Rather than hate your scars, embrace them. They are a part of you. A trauma changes us all, I actually think it changed me for the better. It made me slow down a bit and quit being so career driven. It made me realize no one in the world is as awesome as those people I call Mom and Dad. It made me realize that those days we call bad days, aren’t really that bad at all. So if I have to trade a few new scars for many life lessons, I am perfectly fine with that!

#6
Reply: Scars
by Christine on Jul 28, 2011, 03:22PM

You all are really strong ladies! I’m 24yrs old and was involve in a motor car accident 2mths ago. My boyfriend (rider) and i was hit by a car, when we stopped in the middle of the highway due to a car breakdown infront of us. I can’t remember anything at all, and when I regain my consciousness I was trapped under the car. I have lots of wound on my body and a very big deep wound at my right leg calf area. The doctor have to close the big wound using skin graft. I thought my nightmare will be over after the operations, but it is actually the beginning when they need to redress the wound. The first time I saw it, I was in shock and cry non stop as the wound is so big and deep. Now most of the wounds on my body have healed, except the big one on my leg. The scar is so big (most of the soft tissue and skin were removed and covered with skin graft) that I know I can’t wear short pants anymore. I used to wear short pants due to the hot weather, and the love of going beach area. I’m now going to physical therapy but till now I still can’t look at the scar or face others. As I keep trying to hid the scar and being conscious of the wound, making me depress and stress.

#7
Reply: Scars
by Wanda Paris on Aug 16, 2011, 03:32AM

Reply to Christine

I understand how you feel. But it is still early. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. I promise you it will get better. I thought people would look at me like I was an ogar after I lost my eye. But what I found was that most of them were just curious about what happened. With a simple explanation, they were really nice about it. Over time I learned to use humor to heal. I find that if I don’t take it too seriously, neither will others. Just remember the scars don’t define who you are. You are still the same person on the inside that you always were. And scars do heal over time. Some better than others, but they do heal. So should you!

Best wishes!

#8
Reply: Scars
by Ellierose4 on Sep 27, 2011, 02:01AM

I am 21 years old. Crash happened when i was 19.

I have scar that is on my face and is about 6 in.

and about five scars that are about .5in on my face. My ear was amputated, I have had two plastic revisions on my face and ear.

I also get FRAXIL treatment for the scare (lasers)

I have problems with how i look

#9
Reply: Scars
by KatyHollis on Jun 13, 2013, 10:35PM

I was in a fireworks accident in 2007. I was burned and have a big scar on my face along my jaw line. My left arm took the brunt of the blast and is a mass of scars from my shoulder to my fingertips. The first year of the accident I covered my arm. I was okay with the scars but I didn’t like the looks that others gave me. I remember declaring to a friend that I was never going to wear short sleeves again. Boy, was I ever wrong. My scars are now my trophy. I’m really proud of them. My sister-in-law even pointed out that one of my scars is in the shape of a heart.

#10
Reply: Scars
by bheisler on Sep 12, 2013, 08:54AM

In 2008 I was in a horrible car accident that has left large, deep scars on both of my legs. This was the first summer that I put on a swimsuit and swam in front of people I didn’t know.
It’s obvious. My scars are huge and I new the questions would come up. I think that this is the reason why I don’t wear shorts or skirts. The physical scars don’t really bug me anymore. The emotional ones on the other hand do. I was asked to become a volunteer and I just didn’t think I could handle telling someone…“yeah this did happen a long time ago and I still get the urge to cry over it…”. I don’t know… I am proud of going to the public pool this year and not wearing jeans!!! That atleast gives me hope that things do continue to get a little easier. We survived and should be proud of our scars! They are a giant ,look at me i’m stronger than I ever thought I could be, symbol!

#11
Reply: Scars
by tears on Nov 29, 2013, 11:55AM

thanks to all u ladies that actually shared about ur scares its really hard talking about such cause at some point we are going to have to bare it all with our partners and wonder what he thinks when looking at them.

I got attacked on the 2nd November and was left with a total of 22 stab wound witch now are scares after being stitched,i have 10 on my lower back, 10 on my bum and thigh then one major one on my head and the other on my face luckily it isn’t that big. im 21 of age and in all these years i had never cut my hair but then this scare led to me being bold, they had to make sure that it was the only one needing stitches. I try to avoid looking at them thinking by the time i do they would have faded (silly i know) but believ me i do. After reading ur stories i actually feel guilty for crying over my scares cause at least i can hide mine

#12
Reply: Scars
by chrissy carson on Dec 05, 2013, 01:14PM

hi everyone! i got run over from a drunk driver 12 years ago and as a result have a degloved right foot, for so many years i was so ashamed to show anyone my scar, it is very big, at first they tried to put a muscle from the side of my groin area and stitch it on but there was no blood circulation so they removed it and put skin graft over it. For many years i would wear socks to avoid anyone asking questions which i was not willing to answer to but now i have moved to australia i have no choice but to show my feet off, but i have found a way of doing that without people staring at my “ugly foot” i call it, i put strapping on the scar and it is tan color and sticks well now i wear revealing sandels and nobody actually notices my scarring, im not keen on revealling the whole scar though as it scares me to look at it lol but i have healed in my own way, has taken me 12 years to overcome the trauma, but im happier now:)

#13
Reply: Scars
by ginak94 on Feb 13, 2014, 05:12AM

Hey, Embrace your scars !! They define all of the heartache and trauma that you OVERCAME :) Don`t forget that. We all or most of us have physical scars that are awful, some worse than others, but what you must remember is that these scars we all have represent how strong of an individual we all are….be proud of what you have accomplished. People will not down you on them, but instead, they will be inspired by how far you have come.

Gina K.

#14
Reply: Scars
by ShannonB on Feb 23, 2014, 08:30PM

I am a 43-year old survivor of a car accident cause by a drunk driver. My right leg is pretty horribly scarred – from the surgical incisions that show at my hip, knee, lower leg, and foot, to the giant gaping hole at my knee (which several surgeries and months with a plastic surgeon will still never look right), to the site of the skin graft harvest that made my knee look somewhat better but left its own scar on my thigh…well I have also been covering myself with long pants, maxi dresses (thank goodness those are in right now!) and covered shoes.

I have found myself able to uncover amongst close friends, although I am nervous around children and strangers. This has presented a special obstacle for me, because water-based therapy is so helpful for me, but showing up at the YMCA pool in a bathing suit in front of strangers is too uncomfortable for me.

I am working towards “scars are badass” (great quote!), but sometimes that seems too much to ask. They are just one more sign that I am not myself and never will be again. If I was back in a working body (look at the great stuff I can do, and these scars prove I went through scary stuff and came out unscathed), then I think I’d be proud of my scars. But in my case, I can’t walk without limping, I can’t bend in all the ways I used to, and I will never be completely strong again. So my scars don’t tell the tale of a victory, they tell the tale of “something that could have been much worse.” Maybe that’s why it’s so hard for some of us to shrug them off.

#15
Reply: Scars
by MissAmanuensis on May 27, 2014, 03:25PM

I have a lot of scars (all over my face and leg) and I no longer “see” them. Most people don’t notice them at all, until I point them out. They used to be purple and really obvious; I covered them with dermablend. There is a face and body makeup that can flawlessly cover all sorts of stuff. You can purchase it at Dillard’s, and dermablend’s website. The make up is very good, and can give you confidence.
Right now, I am at the “scars are badass” point (it’s been 16 years) as I now think there are bigger fish to fry. Also, if someone has an issue, it’s THEIR isue, not yours :)
Once, when I was younger, someone asked me about my scars and I told them it was from a broken bottle in the bar fight and I just messed with them (the scars are from a vehicle accident). I kept getting more and more elaborate with the story until they realized I was playing around, and we laughed.

To be honest, I don’t think about them any more. Also, people are more interested in the STORY behind the scar than the scar, itself. Sometimes, people want to appreciate what you’ve been through by hearing your story!

#16
Reply: Scars
by Taylor on Sep 13, 2014, 08:45AM

For new members much like myself, the older post are very helpful for many of us that are left with the physical appearance of our pain and suffering. It definitely helps to hear about your trials and how you emotionally dealt with the scars left behind. I have dealt with such issues. I hated showing my scars because it would bring back memories of my accident(s). Both experiences were different. My first accident, November 18 2010 car accident, I had a long gashes on both knees that was very noticeable and purple. It took a long time for me to be comfortable showing them off. Till this day it’s still a little uncomfortable because it brings up unwanted memories when people ask. (3year later) Along with the scars came the muscle loss I had to deal with. Since I suffered many fractures including pelvis and bilateral femur fractures I was bedridden for months and lost a lot of weight and muscle mass. Upon walking this made me look deformed and highly self conscious… I knew what I went through and I excepted that, however, people don’t know these things and judgment is passed extensively . I looked past that. I allowed them to linger in their ignorance because I overcame and survived the most difficult time in my life. Then may 18, 2014 came when I suffered a 30ft fall. This resulted in more scars… A 3inch incision on my neck to fix my c3-c6 ,approximately a 6 in scar in my forearm and a 5 inch scar going down the length of the palm of my hand.. Ohh and not to mention the scars on my hips for the two time external fixator I had. Which left me with a huge deformity. Sometimes I feel like Sally from nightmare before Christmas. But you know what, Sally is beautiful. She was made like that for a reason, and this happened for a reason, because things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. All my imperfections resulted in the mentality of life that I have and am eternally privledged.. Most people don’t get that..

#17
Reply: Scars
by Taylor on Sep 13, 2014, 08:46AM

Accepted*

#18
Reply: Scars
by JanineBailey on Nov 10, 2014, 11:02AM

I was 5 when it happened. A severe car accident which left me in a coma with severely broken and fractured bones, many places on my body from head to toe, with no chance of survival.
My mum was in that car and sadly she died. That’s the most painful part of it.
If she was here, she could probably help me cope better and learn to love my body.
I have horrible scars on both my legs and my stomach and I just cannot show them. I try so hard but I am petrified.
I have had so many operations, I cannot even count. My right leg especially, looks deformed. I broke my toes, ankle, foot, tibia, femur. Breakages and crushed bones on both legs. 25 years later and here I am. Even up until a year ago, I had surgery.
Reading the stories above, I feel emotional.
I am so proud of those of you who can walk with your heads held high, baring all. I wish I could do that. I know it’s in my head, I know I am a survivor, I know it’s badass and I know I have nothing to be ashamed of. I just can’t wear those shorts or that bikini, or a dress or a skirt above my knee.
There are many more complications due to the accident but to list them all would be too much.
I am touched by every single story in this forum. I have read each one and at least I don’t feel so alone.

#19
Reply: Scars
by smurf_goddess on Sep 14, 2016, 03:09AM

Beautiful ladies. You make me feel understood. My scars have not been much of a problem for me. I just have the incision sites all over, but I embrace them. They are the reason I survived. I do have a problem with my body though, and the weight gain. Coming on another surgery this is very clear to me. I feel old, tired, and in pain. I have been very limited the last three years. Most of my friends are having their last chance babies where the doctors treat them like special cases because they are over 35. I am accepting that will probably not happen for me. Sigh.

#20
Reply: Scars
by Hannah95o on Aug 02, 2017, 03:41AM

Hi, I am a current student at the University of Queensland studying a Bachelor of Psychological Science (Honours) and am in the process of completing my thesis. I believe my thesis is very relevant to a lot of you and therefore would love you participation. The aim of my research is to determine if and how scarring caused by a vehicle accident effects levels of PTS, depression and anxiety. Hopefully my research will be published and therefore will help improve awarness relating to the psychological impact of scarring and how the health system treats it. I am seeking participants who have any form of scarring, who have been involved in a crash, whether it be on the road or in the water. The link attached will take you to the participant information sheet, which includes; the purpose of the study, what is involved, potential risks, confidentiality of data, ethical clearance details and further contacts if needed as well as the link to the survey. I would really love your participation and if you could please pass this onto anyone you know who is going through that same thing that would be amazing. https://exp.psy.uq.edu.au/crashes Thank you so much and feel free to message me with any queries

#21
Reply: Scars
by Hannaht5 on Jan 04, 2018, 05:57PM

I have a huge scar on my neck. It’s bumpy, red and wavy. There’s no way to hide it since it’s on my neck. I also have 5 red dots on my wrist. For a while i saw blood coming out of them every time i looked at them. But I’ve grown to love my scars. They make me me. They show how hard you fought to stay alive and how far you’ve come. Wear your scars proud.

#22
Reply: Scars
by Tucker on Jan 17, 2018, 12:12AM

I am so sorry what you had to go thru and thankful that you have such hope and you are moving forward. I have scars and some deformities from making mistakes with silicone injections..and then countless surgeries to remove or appease. I have scars and I don’t feel they are bad ass. I need to speak to someone about feeling better about this. I want to be where you are.

#23
Reply: Scars
by partikparmar on Nov 03, 2018, 10:23AM

Experienced skin specialist could help have you ever been to see someone about the physical appearance of the marks. You may go through the burn scar treatments to remove all scars and get a good looking skin. Alternative treatments may be the risk sometimes but this treatment is safe and productive.