Surviving a Physical Attack by a New Neighbor
About 3 weeks ago, I was attacked by a new neighbor in my building. The week prior, they had moved into the apartment building and across the hall. There was a false fire alarm in the building which is how we met and I tried to be friendly to the new neighbor. They asked to exchange numbers in case another incident occurred. I didn’t think anything of it and agreed. They proceeded to text me multiple times a day every day and about four days later started knocking on my door for various reasons multiple times a day. By Friday, I had had enough and politely told them to please respect my privacy and to only contact me if there is an emergency. That night, I was on the phone with my mother and they knocked on the door again asking me to go into their apartment to help them with their radiator. When I told them that I was on the phone and that they could go down the hall to our superintendent, they proceeded to push in my door and grab me. My arms were pinned to my side and I was screaming for help. My mother was still on the phone and managed to hang up and call 911. As he placed his hand over my mouth to stifle my screams, I bit. I bit his hand as hard as I could. He pushed me over the bed and I kept biting and biting. I whited out and don’t remember part of the altercation but suddenly we were back at my front door. I tried to kick him in the genitals but he was much tall then me (6’4" 280+ lbs to my 5’4" 125 lbs). All I could think of was that I was going to get killed. That this was how I was going to die. I kept biting as hard as possible and he started screaming “You psycho bitch! You assaulted me! I can’t believe you assaulted me!” He let me go and goes, “I’m going to call the cops!” To which I encouraged him to go call the cops. As he left my apartment, I slammed the door shut and bolted the lock. Immediately dialing 911, the police were able to show up and arrest him. Once the cops were there about halfway through our conversation, I looked down to see my wrists covered in blood. I looked up and asked if I had blood on my face. It was all over my mouth, jaw and neck. And there was blood on my walls. I didn’t even taste the blood during the altercation. Thankfully, he has been charged with a felony but due to it not being sexual assault (although it’s clear that is where it was going and possibly more), I am not able to get him charged that way and my case was given to the burglary department. The thing I have found most frustrating is there is barely ANY resources for people surviving physical attacks only sexual assault. I have been searching and searching and nothing. It hurts my heart because there is so much I’m going through I could really use help with but there aren’t even support groups for this. Only sexual assault. I now have PTSD, a tremor that is constant, a stutter, am terrified of men and have panic attacks around men that match the physical appearance of my assailant. The first week after the attack, I read words in other languages even though I was looking at English. I would speak in other languages first or think in them. I couldn’t remember how to use a door handle. My brain would reboot 8-10 times a day where I’d be in the middle of speaking to someone and forget who I was, who I was talking to, where I was, or even what I was talking about. I couldn’t remember simple words like cat. And on top of it all, I went through about a week and a half of questioning whether or not I was actually alive or if I had died during the part of the fight I can’t remember. I’m very proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished. But now I’m very scared to be on my own. I feel like my actual self is locked in a box in my brain and some other person has taken over. I’m not afraid of anything (save clowns) and now I’m jumpy and terrified suffering panic attacks. That’s not me. It’s not who I am and it’s hard. I have a therapist and they are wonderful but I would love to find a support group to help with this and maybe having others who have been through this to talk to. It’s exhausting and I don’t know anyone else who has been attacked by a complete stranger. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
