Trying desperately to move forward...
On February 1, 2005, I had just moved back to New York to help my mom who was going through an intensely tough divorce, and to hopefully start to go on auditions for singing/broadway. March 9th, not more than a little over a month since I moved I was rushed to the hospital from what I thought was just a high fever and a painful rash on my lower right leg. It turned out to be necrotizing fasciitis or better known as the flesh-eating bacteria… I was told that there was a chance I would lose my right leg, and while I was talked to about prosthetics, I knew my whole life had just changed… I was able to keep my leg and went through a year of being on a cane to recover. But what I didn’t realize was that emotionally I was struggling with PTSD…
Fast forward to February 11, 2013… I worked for FedEx and was on my way to work. I had to be in by 6am. While I was crossing the street that early morning to get to work, I was hit by a car. There are still many things my mind has blocked out from that day… I ended up with a pelvic fracture, two herniated discs in my lower back, tendinitis in my right arm, nerve damage in both my calves, and sprain/strain to the neck and shoulders. I know compared to others injuries I am very fortunate. It seems as though the PTSD has been even harder to handle. It took me awhile before I could cross streets again, but I have. And now I am in the process of finding a new psychologist. I am having the hardest time trusting others. It’s as though I fear others will hurt me in some way. Does that sound like a ridiculous fear?
