Car accident survivor
On August 9, 2017, my life was changed forever! I got into the car with a friend, who I find out later was under the influence, we’re heading to his doctor appointment on the highway. He begins speeding and just driving crazy. In his mind he thinks the car to the left of us had served into our lane when in fact it was him that swerved into their lane almost causing An accident. He starts flipping out, driving faster, swerving, yelling at the people in the car to the left. Them he goes to grab a cup and throws it out his window into the other car. When he does this he ends up losing control of the car. All the while, I’m screaming at him to stop and slow down and he’s not listening! So he loses control of the car and we go from the third lane over on the highway all the way to the right side, the breakdown lane, without hitting any other cars. We go off towards the woods and the last thing I see is us going straight towards a tree! No I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt this day smh I end up waking up in the back seat holding onto the back of the passenger seat, where I originally was, for dear life, not realizing at that point that we were on our side. I guess wet went off the road and flipped about 4 times and landed in the woods off the highway. I try to move and find out I can’t feel or move my legs and I can’t rally breathe so I just start screaming for help. Not even a minute later I hear voices saying there is someone inside! A man, who witnessed the whole accident had pulled over and came to check if we were ok. He starts talking to me keeping me awake then the firefighter showed up and crawled in behind me and held my neck until he got me the brace. They end up having to use the jaws of life to get me out. For some reason, even after feeling that I can’t move my legs and I’m having trouble breathing, I’m so incredibly calm! Normally I have bad anxiety. Once they finally can get me out and they put me onto that backboard, that’s when the pain hit! It was unbearable! From that point on I was in and out. I took an ambiance to one hospital, they didn’t have a trauma unit to help me so then I took another ambiance into Boston an hour away. I guess they put me into a coma and when I woke up 5 days and 3 surgeries later, I remember being able to move my toes. They day my spine, from about the top of my shoulders all the way down to my bottom, was completely crushed. When I got to the hospital I was paralyzed from the waist down so this was a happy feeling to be able to feel and move my legs! They took out 3 ribs to fuse my lower spine but the rest of my spine, from top to bottom, is now titanium rods and screws and plates and cages. My right lung ruptured and during surgery bled so bad I ended up needing a blood transfusion. My right shoulder blade was broken in 3 places and is still. I also had a huge bump on my forehead along with many, many bumps and bruises. The day after I woke up from everything they got me up and with a huge back brace and a walker I took 5 steps! Other than that I didn’t do much for the next month that I was in the hospital. I could only lay on my back and was so uncomfortable and in so much pain constantly. I’m 36 years old and needing to use a bed pan and have people bathe me. So I stayed in the hospital for a month and then I went to a rehab for only a week, to get my legs stronger and learn how to walk again. Of course with my back brace and the walker. I’ve been gimme 6 months now and everyday is the same. The pain is awful but I had them take me off of the hard pain killers so what I take now never gets rid of the pain completely it only makes it bearable. As of today I no longer need the walker to walk but I still need all the railings in the shower and the shower chair because I can’t stand long. I’ve lost my hair now because of all the surgery and the hardware they put in, that will be there forever now. I didn’t know you could lose your hair because of all that, just one more thing to make me feel horrible and upset. I haven’t been able to pick up my 3 year old in 6 months and it kills me! I need help with everything and my life will never be the same. I haven’t been cleared to drive and ill never be able to be a CNA again like i was before the accident. I constantly relive everything i can remember about the accident and it makes me so angry and upset and hurt, so many things and i don’t know how to deal with it. I can’t come to terms with the fact that this is how my life is gong to be from now on. It’s a miracle I’m alive and that I’m not paralyzed anymore but I’m still so mad this happened at all! I’ve cut out allot of people from my life because of this and I’ve hardly left the house in 6 months because I feel like everyone is staring and judging and like they know what happened to me. I know that’s not the case but that’s how I feel so I just don’t go out. Not to mention how scared I am to be in a car now. I’m just having a ton of trouble trying to process everything. The driver is facing 5 years jail time, he was found completely at fault, obviously. He’s fine now he suffered a huge gash in his head but walked away and I end up with a crushed spine with 65 staples in my back and other horrible scars from surgeries and he’s fine and living life normal again. It infuriates me! And the fact that he thinks he did nothing wrong and even thought he would make money off this! Finding this site and reading people’s stories has really helped. Most people just don’t understand what I’m going through and I feel naff complaining or telling people how I feel or what happened etc. I’m having a really hard time with everything and no I haven’t been to a therapist, I know I should I just don’t think that I’m ready. It would be great to hear from someone with similar injuries as I haven’t foind anyone that’s had something similar to my spine injuries and surgeries. I just feel like nobody understands mms anymore and I’d rather not burden people with my feelings or my pain that seems to never go away. I mean is this really my life now? Why? I hate this….. — Daneille
