Motorcycle down
On April 19th I made an near fatal error. Back home in Georgia, I borrowed my uncles motorcycle. Currently I am stationed in California where motorcycle riding is a common thing, but it Georgia it’s got some riders but not very many. But I was coming out onto a highway to make a left hand turn and didn’t see the car coming my way at around 65 mph. He never saw me. I never saw him. I hit his passenger fender at 20 mph which knocked me out on impact. Being knocked out caused my left leg to slip by the floorboard and was crushed in between the floorboard and the car. When the bike released me I was thrown over the car breaking my femur and I landed in the median. When I came to I felt fine but I couldn’t feel my left leg. Three open fractures tibia fibula and femur. After being told I was gonna lose my leg by every doctor I saw yet by some miracle they saved it. I made huge progress the first few months but now I’ve started to slow down almost regress. Honestly there’s times I wish they hadn’t saved the leg. Then maybe I wouldn’t be in this pain. Some physical. All mental. I feel weak. Powerless worthless. Like I’m less of a man. I keep going back to that day. What if I did this? What If I did that? What if…what if they had taken the leg. Would my wife look at me less. What would happen with my job. Would I be happier or would I have eaten a bullet. I’m going down a hole and I feel like no matter how much I explain it nobody truly understands. Maybe some of you do.