Struggling
I’m looking for some support that what I’m feeling is normal after an awful injury. I’m not even sure my experience qualifies as trauma, but it sure seems like it does. On July 10th, I was walking up the steps in my apartment building. My shoe got caught on a loose stair tread. I tripped and fell face first into wrought iron bars and my head slammed into a sharp, metal window beam. At first I thought I was going to have a lump on my head. Within in seconds, I was bleeding profusely from my head and face. I was in a landing between two flights of stairs and fire doors where nobody would hear me begging for help. My survival instinct took over and I held my head and face together, and ran for help. I was knocking on doors saying over and over I fell and needed an ambulance. A woman opened her door and closed it again. I remember screaming that I did not want to die. I was finally able to get someone to open the door and call 9/11. I was lying in my own blood holding dish towels that they had tossed out the door on my head. I was rushed to the hospital as a trauma patient. 50% of my scalp was stapled and I have a 7 inch laceration from my forehead all the way below my right eye that took hours to repair. I am 3 weeks post injury. I’m suffering from a concussion, my hair from my scalp to the right side of my head is falling out as the scabs fall off. I’m numb in my scalp and forehead. I am healing though. I’m thankful for so many things, especially for my precious life. I am having issues sleeping. I have flashbacks of the event. I have talked to family and friends and they all just tell me it could have been so much worse, that I am lucky. It did not feel lucky to be criticality injured and to have people close the door in my face. I really thought I was going to die. I’m a teacher and I have to be strong to return to school during COVID. How do I handle this recovery and also face the anxiety of a pandemic? I am a really strong woman, and a very positive person. This though is so hard…
