I fell and Now Im Trying to Get Back Up
The past year has been interesting to say the least. In June of 2021 I flew from Georgia to Kansas to visit a friend and help her move. I took a bus from the airport headed to her city, but I never made it. In Topeka I was leaving the bus for a soda. Next think I knew, I was in an Atlanta hospital and it was a month later! It seems I fell while leaving the bus. I was taken to a local Trauma Center where I underwent surgery to remove a large blood clot. Doctors also removed a section of my skull to reduce pressure on my brain. They found that I’d had 2 small strokes, but were unable to determine if the fall caused the strokes or vice versa. I was transferred from Topeka to Atlanta after about 3 weeks, and spent the next 2 months learning to talk, walk, even how to swallow again. I knew I had traveled to Kansas but remembered nothing after that bus ride. After almost 3 months of hospitalization my husband brought me home. It didn’t take long to realize that I was NOT fully healed. My body had improved greatly, but mentally and emotionally I was a wreck. One evening during the first week my husband went to a friend’s house 2 miles away to return some dishes. He was gone only a few minutes, but it seemed like an eternity to me. “What if I fall?” “What if I have a stroke?” “What if someone breaks in on me?” “What if the sky falls?!” My mind seemed to search out every possible negative and dwell on it. I was unable to function because of all the fear. WHAT IF…..? I contacted a friend and counselor about these thoughts. After a few sessions of conversation ( around Christmas of 2021), I was diagnosed with PTSD. Just giving my situation a name helped. Maybe I wasn’t completely losing my mind after all! In the months since that time, I’ve had 5 surgeries. I have made great strides, but I’m nowhere near my “normal” mental and emotional state. I look forward to addressing the thoughts tumbling through my brain with all of you! God bless!
